Do You Voodoo?
by Acherona
Summary: What do you do when you find a doll looking exactly like a certain bastard best friend of yours? Why play with it of course. Oh my; this can never end well. SasuNaru


This is Shinigamigirl87's prize for winning the fic portion of the SasuNaru Day contest on Y gallery. We hope it turned out the way she wanted and congratulate her on the win!

Written collab between Trulywicked and Acherona.

**WARNING:**Voodoo magic of a sort, perving on a doll, violence, men boinking each other.

**Disclaimer:**We do not own the Naruto series nor any characters or locations thereof. We make no profit from writing this.

Ages: As they're ANBU

Sasuke: 23  
>Naruto: 22<p>

**Do You Voodoo?**

Naruto stretched his neck and shifted his shoulders after stripping out of his armor and went about changing into his usual outfit. It had been a rough mission but he'd completed it and faster than the allotted time and with minimal casualties. That was a success in his opinion. He looked up as a harried Sasuke came in tugging at his hair a bit and muttering soft curses. Why was it that his best friend had to be so brutally hot even when in a pissy mood, hell _because_he was in a pissy mood! "Hey bastard, I know you get off a little on your hair but why are you clutching it like that?"

"Che, the only one here who gets off on my hair is you moron." Sasuke dropped his hand though and looked up at his too cheerful for your health best friend. "Seriously though, do I have a sign on my back that says please grope me and hang off my arms as I walk down the street?" He let out a soft growl. "I thought the girls here had grown up but no, they're more annoying than ever. I _don't_want them, how difficult can that be to process?"

A bark of laughter came from Naruto as he slid on his sandals, "Since when have kunoichi been anything but stubborn? Looks like they cut a chunk of your hair out from the back though," he snickered, "watch someone'll sell it and make a mint."

"Fucking hell!" Sasuke's hand came up to rake through the spikes at the back of his head. "Touching the hair is going too far." Sasuke came close to a pout before he caught himself and set his face into his usual emotionless mask. "I wish I could just fry them all. I would be doing this village a favor and you know it." Sasuke tilted his head. "Although you'd probably like them cutting pieces off you, you've always been weird."

Naruto flipped him off, "Hey if I want to spread the love around I've got chakra to burn remember? I'm pickier than you like to think bastard." Very picky actually. He had a deep fetish for crabby bastards with spiky raven hair, pale skin, snapping dark eyes, and a penis not that he'd ever tell Sasuke that. He did not need the beat down that was sure to occur. "I'm out, don't get killed bastard."

"Take that advice yourself moron, I'm not the one tripping over my own feet." Sasuke shot back and watched Naruto leave and damned did he ever look good walking away. Sasuke sucked in a breath through his teeth and cursed under his breath. He and Naruto had just gotten back to the comfort of friendship and easy banter. Naruto didn't need to know Sasuke wanted to think his teeth into that tanned, toned and utterly delicious ass. He banged his head against the wall before changing into his uniform. He was on Hokage duty and as boring as it was Tsunade didn't tolerate being late, or mouthing off...Well unless you were a blond moron of course. Then no rules applied.

Naruto smiled and waved at the villagers, happy that they'd finally come to accept him after he took Pein down six years ago, as he walked back to his apartment. He caught sight of a group of giggling genin kunoichi huddled around something and recognized a few of Sasuke's more persistent fangirls and just couldn't help himself. He crept over and draped his arm around one of their shoulders, "Well hello ladies, you wouldn't happen to know anything about my friend's missing hair would you?"

The young girls looked up at the large blond with wide eyes and loud gasps. "N-no, we have no idea what you're talking about." One of the girls, a very curly haired honey blonde on did her best to hide something behind her back but managed to drop it as the others pulled on her. "Sorry, Naruto-san, we have to leave." A redhead bowed quickly and ran after her friends, leaving the object her friend had dropped lying in the dust.

Naruto shook his head. No wonder they were still genins. He looked down at the object dropped and his brows went up at the sight of the doll. He reached down, it was like a very large Ken doll. About the size of a cat, fully posable from the look of it, and it looked like Sasuke from the tips of the plastic feet in the sandals to the top of the raven head. He ran a finger along the sculpted vinyl jaw in amusement. They'd cut a chunk of Sasuke's hair out to give the Sasuke doll hair. "Huh, I think I'll be taking you home with me Mini-suke."

Sasuke shivered as he stood guard outside the Hokage's office. It felt just as if someone caressed his jaw with soft fingertips, leaving a tingling sensation behind. It wasn't unpleasurable but it still felt uncomfortable since there was no source for the ghostly fingers caressing him. He noticed the Hyuga give him a sideways glance and quickly straightened up and stood stock still. Neji Hyuga would have no reason to comment on his behavior as a guard.

Naruto got home pretty fast and set the doll down on his counter as he started to make himself dinner. One cup of ramen later and he was examining the doll curiously. He ruffled a finger over the hair, smiling at the silky feel, tapped the tip of the nose and, being he was the curious type, stripped the doll before hooting with laughter. It was anatomically correct! Oh this was too good. He'd seen Sasuke plenty of times in the ANBU showers, careful to never let his gaze linger, but he'd have to say the ladies got it all right as he trailed a finger over the plastic penis in amusement.

_'Oh fuck!'_Sasuke tensed up as his penis twitched inside his ANBU regulations uniform pants. Just before it felt as if someone raked their fingers through his hair and touched his nose and now the fingers running up and down his penis was causing havoc with his body. He couldn't help but react to someone cupping and touching him. This was hell! A soft hiss escaped his lips behind the falcon mask and his nails bit into his palm. When he found out what the fuck was going on there would be hell to pay.

Naruto trailed his finger up the doll's torso to tap against the painted nipples, noting that they were actually sculpted before shaking his head and redressing the doll, "Gods I'm pathetic, fondling a doll because I can't do it to the real thing...a sicko too. Ugh." He got up, taking the doll with him and flopped into his bed. It might be pathetic to sleep with a hunk of plastic, maybe a little sick, but holding the doll was as close as he'd ever get to holding Sasuke so he'd take it.

Sasuke was fighting cold sweats. His nipples ached as they were fully erect and scratched against the fabric of his shirt. And then, just when he thought things couldn't get worse he was enveloped in warm, safe arms and held close. Here he was with the hard on from hell, pointy sensitive nipples and wrapped in a safe embrace. Everything he wanted if he was completely honest with himself but not like this! Not _molested_by some weird invisible presence. Even with his Sharingan activated Sasuke couldn't find any trace of his molester and it was beginning to freak him out.

**oOo**

The next morning Naruto was, once again, making food in the kitchen, doll on the counter, and he was being silly with it. He was actually cooking, fish and rice, and explaining his method to the doll in a very bad Freanch accent, "-zen you rub zome zalt een!" he laughed at himself and tickled the doll's side with the handle of his spatula, "I'm warped I know but somehow I feel closer to Sasuke around you Mini-suke."

Kicking his feet and burying his head underneath he soft, feathery pillows, Sasuke cursed loudly in every language he knew how to. For once he had a morning to himself, to sleep in but no...Of course soft tickles would wake him up and revive the 'problem' he'd been experiencing since yesterday. When his shift had finally been over he had wanked himself raw and he'd come harder than he'd ever had and now his erection was back, stiff and insistent inside his loose sleeping pants. It wasn't fucking fair. What had he ever done to deserve this...Wait, even in his own mind Sasuke didn't want to answer that question.

Naruto carted the doll to the table and nibbled on fish as he pondered, occasionally running his pinkie over the doll's features absently, especially the lips that managed to capture Sasuke's close mouthed sneer just right. Those girls really went all out making this thing. Maybe he should feel bad for having it, for planning to keep it but they had whacked at his best friend's hair so he was keeping the spoils.

Giving up, Sasuke had rolled onto his back. His own hands roaming over his torso, caressing and pinching, imagining that it was a set of larger, tanner hands touching him. He bit at his bottom lip, trying to eliminate the tingles in it as his hand slowly crept closer and closer to the waist band of his sleeping pants. He imagined that Naruto was there with him, touching him just right.

Naruto started clearing his table then cursed when the doll toppled over and landed on the ground, hard on the posterior end. "Oooh," he picked it up and rubbed the doll's butt without thinking, "you alright there Mini-suke...I can't _believe_I'm doing this." He set the doll down carefully and finished cleaning up.

"Nnnghhh." Sasuke's hips rose off the mattress, one of his hands wrapped firmly around his aching cock and one creeping lower as the feeling of someone squeezing his cheeks rushed through him. He cupped and rolled his balls in his palm before bringing his fingers up to his mouth to suck on them. This was weird, it was sick and it was wrong, he hadn't been this horny when he'd first discovered how good it actually felt to play with your dong. He was an Uchiha for fucks sake, not a slave to his urges but even as he thought this his hand moved faster.

Naruto picked up the doll and went to the couch again, fiddling with the little bendable wrists and hands, noting that they even had Sasuke's scars. He turned the doll around and lifted up the back of the doll's hair curiously and stared at the little painted crescent scar there. Very, very few actually knew about that scar, about how Sasuke had nearly gotten his head taken off by Haku during the mission in Wave. His finger traced over the painted scar, remembering Sasuke asking his help in treating it and how his friend had shivered when he had. Sasuke seemed to have a very sensitive neck, the reason for all those open collars.

_'Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.'_Sasuke moaned and rubbed the back of his head against his pillows, his body on fire from the sensations on his neck. His neck was his great weak spot, the slightest touch making him weak in the knees. It almost felt too good and yet as much as Sasuke squeezed and rubbed he couldn't manage to get off. He would die here in this bed, from blue balls and ghost fingers. Sasuke could just imagine the humor the moron would find in that.

Naruto shook his head and huffed, "Okay this thing is way, way too tempting to fiddle with. I'm just going to take it over to Sasuke's," he got up and started slipping his sandals on, "at least I know the bastard won't be playing with a doll of himself...at least I don't think he would." With that he was out the door, doll being carried under one arm.

Sasuke was frustrated, he was frustrated and horny and that was not a good combination. He had practically leveled his training field in within the compounds grounds but nothing he did made his erection go down or made him forget the way those invisible fingers felt on his body. He wanted to kill someone, slowly and with as much pain as possible. Yeah, torture sounded like a brilliant idea at the moment.

Naruto paused at the edge of the training field, eyeing the absolute fury Sasuke was giving off and wondered if perhaps he should come back another time, "Er Sasuke?"

Sasuke whipped his head around and almost glowing, red tinted eyes locked on blue ones. "Moron." It was a low, dark purr. "Come on, spar with me, show me what you got." He removed his shirt and stretched as he waited for Naruto to get ready.

Half of Naruto's blood volume went from his head to his cock at that purr and the sight of that luscious pale skin, "Um actually I've got a few plans I just came over to," he had to swallow a moan at the way Sasuke bent and displayed his ass, "drop something off."

"Do I look like I care? You're here now get your ass in gear and fight me...I _need_it." Sasuke looked at Naruto over his shoulder as he continued to stretch. "Or are you that afraid of being humiliated, knowing you're going to lose and lose bad...As always against me."

"Kiss my ass bastard! Jeeze what crawled up yours. Here I postponed my plans for the day to drop off your missing bit of hair and you insult me, snarl at me, and make demands. Haven't you ever heard of using the word please?" He chucked the doll at Sasuke in a fit of bad temper. It just was not fair to have his deepest desire displayed before him and not be able to touch.

The doll fell face first before it even connected with Sasuke but the moment the doll hit the ground Sasuke crumbled in pain, clutching his nose. "Ow! What the fuck have you done idiot? What is that? He kicked the doll and hissed as it felt like his ribs were being kicked in. Realization slowly lit in dark eyes and the murderous aura around Sasuke expanded ten fold. "It's you! You're my fucking molester...I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. YOU!"

Naruto dodged a wild, furious punch, "What the fucking hell are you talking about you bastard! I haven't been anywhere _near_you since yesterday!" He spun and threw a kick at Sasuke's face.

Sasuke jumped back and rammed his fist into Naruto's kidneys. "Right." Sarcasm dripped of the lone word. "So you haven't got your jollies off pawing that doll then?" He followed the punch with another kick. "Newsflash moron, anything you do to that...That _devil doll_I feel."

"Fucking ow!" Naruto's eyes snapped temper and he tossed a brace of shuriken at Sasuke to get him to back off, "What in the hell do you mean devil doll? I found that after I chased away a pack of your fangirls, it's just a doll. Really detailed and shit but just a doll!"

Jumping back several paces, Sasuke glared death and destruction at Naruto. He wouldn't use chakra, he wanted to beat the other to a pulp all by himself without aide. "Really, so yesterday when I was standing guard over your fucking Granny there were no nipple rubbing, cock groping going on with that demon puppet? And this morning, there were no lip touching, neck ticklings and bloody fuck it all ass squeezing?" Sasuke had probably said way too much now, something only Naruto could push him to do. Sasuke wasn't a man of words but right now he couldn't stop screaming.

"Do you get it moron? _Everything_you do to that doll I feel. Every shitty little thing." His eyes darted to the doll on the ground and he wanted to drive a kunai through it before setting it on fire but he was concerned what would happen to him if he did.

"Wait how is that even _possible_ and I was _not_ being a pervert! I was just looking at it and checking out the workman ship and trying to to figure out how the fuck they knew about all of you right down to the scars! And this morning well it's supposed to be just a doll and it looks just like you so I was talking to it okay!" His cheeks turned red, "You know how I touch things when I'm thinking, the doll was just there and shit. And I did _not_squeeze the plastic ass. I knocked it off the table by accident and brushed off the dust on the seat of the pants. Fuck it's not like I'd actually think you could feel anything through the damn doll! If I had trust me I wouldn't have wasted the opportunity to make you feel hot then cold and maybe make you dance the Macarena." He folded his arms across his chest and met Sasuke glare for glare.

Narrowed eyes darted from the doll to his moronic best friend and back again. Sasuke didn't it put it past Naruto to grab the doll and make good on his word now that he knew how it worked. He wondered how he could get to the doll and hide it or something before Naruto. "I have no idea how it's possible and frankly I don't really care. I just want it to stop." Knowing how close the fangirls must have studied him to get the details Naruto talked about right made him feel dirty. "It feels just like being controlled again, mind saying one thing and body doing another. I thought I was done with all that shit."

Well that fucked the Macarena idea all to hell. He might like the idea of pranking the hell out of Sasuke but not of making his body override his mind. "Alright. So," he looked at the doll, face down in the dirt, "if you feel everything that someone does to it, how do we...I dunno make the woo-woo stop?"

Sasuke relaxed minutely at Naruto's words and stopped sneakily or not so sneakily trying to sidle over to the doll. "I have no idea. I suppose we could take it to the Hokage or Ibiki but as fun as that sounds I'd like to keep my humiliation to myself...You don't count." A look a utter disgust spread over Sasuke's beautiful face. "Do you know which fangirls were...Playing with doll me? They made it, they should know how to deactivate it." Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, feeling the patch missing forlornly. "No one can blame me if I kill them afterwards right? Just a few tiny, gruesome murders should be okay?"

Naruto snorted, "Sorry there Killer but no. I only recognized them as the little genin pack that's always screwing up missions for their teammates. One's all we need though so I can track one down and bring her here." He walked over and picked up the doll, handing it to Sasuke, "Better you keep hold of it for now."

Just the gentle hold Naruto had on the doll as he passed it over was enough to send tingles through Sasuke and he gasped as his eyes fell closed and goose bumps rose on his naked torso as he felt Naruto's touch there. Slivers of black eyes looked up at Naruto. "I think that's best yeah...I'll just wait here then." He held the doll carefully, touching only the clothes on it.

Naruto couldn't talk, just nodding as he walked off. By gods that expression and little gasp had his cock up and begging. He wanted to bang his head against a tree but figured scaring the shit out of a stupid genin girl would be enough compensation for the blue balls he was going to be enjoying.

He found the redhead first and grinned at the little eep she made and just tossed her over his shoulder tied up with ninja wire. He smiled at one of the people gaping at him, "Training exercise," then dashed off back to where Sasuke was waiting.

"This her?" Sasuke's voice was colder than ice and he'd changed his trousers and pulled on a shirt. Now he was clad in all unrelenting black. Once he was done with the little bitch she wouldn't even dream of stalking or touching him again.

Amane teared up as she was dumped on the ground in front of the two elite ninjas, still bound like a turkey. "Ah...W-what am I doing here Sasuke-kun, Naruto-san? I c-can't stay, team training. I-Ino-sensei will be angry if I'm not there."

"Oh Ino'll be even more pissed about you making some sort of woo-woo doll of Sasuke. You know how she is about fangirls." Ino had grown up and grown on from her old crush of Sasuke, she'd actually slapped him silly when he'd finally returned to them.

She whimpered and cringed, "I-It was just a game! Kanira said it w-wasn't real and if it was there was no harm in it!"

"No harm? No harm in taking someone's free will away from them?" Sasuke's voice was even more terrible because it was so calm. "What if I'd been out on a mission, protecting someone? What would have happened if enemy nins attacked and I couldn't do my job because you fiddled with that cursed doll, making me do something else. You are a genin, a ninja of this village, I thought you'd know better."

The whimpers turned into real sobs and tears ran over freckled cheeks. "I'm sorry, so sorry. It was just supposed to be a joke, something fun. If you didn't touch any girl than at least we could do what we wanted to the doll. It wasn't meant to be real, to actually work. The scroll Kanira brought was so old and cheesy, we all laughed at it."

Sasuke didn't feel an ounce of pity toward the crying girl. "I'm not laughing."

Naruto glared down at her, "Old and cheesy doesn't mean something won't work. How do we get it to stop? And if you know what's good for you you'll get your hands on that scroll and bring. It. Here. or I won't just tell Ino what you and the others did, I'll tell Sakura and Anko."

She made a squeal of pure fear at the special jonin's name, "Y-you just h-have to m-make it l-less than a perfect c-copy. T-the scroll s-said it only works if it's accurate down to t-the l-last detail and you h-have a p-piece of the t-target. J-just use acet-tone to remove a sc-car."

"If this doesn't work I will come after you." Sasuke felt white hot rage fill him until he couldn't keep his Sharingan from emerging, tomoes spinning lazily as he kept his eyes on the girl. "Playing with people's will, their lives...It's not a joke. What did you expect me to do if this worked? Fall madly in love with someone who fondled me against my will, when I was incapable of stopping it? You should be ashamed of yourself...I know I am ashamed of you. Ashamed and disgusted. Even if the acetone works you better do as Naruto said and bring us the scroll. It's too dangerous to be left in your incapable hands."

Trembling with fear and shame Amane was released from her bindings and she tore out of there so fast she almost left vapor behind.

"Girls, I loathe them."

"Well girls like that yeah." He looked at Sasuke, "So acetone...er that's like nail polish remover right? Got any of it lying around?"

Sasuke shrugged. "It's possible there's an old bottle in Itachi's room. I still haven't touched anything in there." He was already dreading doing this, it would mean rubbing the neck repeatedly wouldn't it. "Of course it had to be the neck." He grumbled quietly as he went inside, waiting for Naruto to follow him.

"Well there are other light scars, like the ones on your hands but those I think were carved in. Only the one on the neck was painted on." He pat Sasuke on the shoulder, "so come on and let's get this over so Mini-suke becomes just an innocuous doll again."

A dark brow rose. "Mini-suke? Do you want me to kick your ass that bad?" Sasuke shook his head in dismay. "As soon as this is over I am going to torch that abomination." His steps faltered slightly. "Hey moron, could you...Possibly go search Itachi's room while I get the doll out of the fridge?" It still hurt to go inside his big brothers room.

"No problem and again, doll, had to call it something and it's a mini you." He went into Itachi's room, rummaging for nail polish remover and q tips, making a sound of triumph when he found them. He walked to the kitchen, "By the way, the fridge? Aren't you cold bastard?"

"I thought you knew, I am a cold bastard." Besides since his erection still refused to subside Sasuke had thought the cold would do him good...It hadn't helped. "I couldn't think of anywhere else to put it. Who would look in the fridge for a devil doll to touch? Even you never get further than the ramen when you're here."

"Why do you even keep ramen here? You hate it, especially cup ramen." He set the bottle of acetone and the q tips down on the table, leaning back against it in a casual lounge.

"You like it, strange as you are." It was said without much emotion and Sasuke didn't look up at Naruto as he grabbed the doll and the acetone and q tips. He dripped acetone on one of the q tips and turned the doll to lie on its stomach. Then he started to rub and instantly shuddered as the sensations traveled over his own neck insistently. "Just kill me now...This is hell."

Naruto wiped the happy grin off his face knowing Sasuke kept ramen here for him and held out a hand, "You want me to do it?"

Without a word Sasuke handed over both doll and q tip to Naruto as he brought his hand to the back of his neck, as if trying to protect it from what was to come. Hopefully the acetone would work quickly and his body reactions would be all his again.

Naruto soaked the q tip in a little more acetone, holding the doll gently in his hand so as not to nudge anything and make Sasuke more uncomfortable. Then he pressed the acetone soaked swab to the painted scar and waited a little bit before twirling the swab between his fingers in a back and forth motion so that it took the scar off quickly. He then pinched the arm of the doll between his fingers gently, "Well did it work?"

Sasuke was looking a little bit flushed but all in all it had gone better than he dared to hope. He looked as Naruto squeezed the doll's arm but he didn't feel any matching pressure on his own arm. "Yeah, yeah I think it did. Thank the fucking fates. I still want that scroll though so this can never happen again.

"I don't blame you. Sorry I made you uncomfortable by the way." Naruto set the doll down and propped his chin in his hands.

_'Uncomfortable'_, well that was the understatement of the year. Horny as hell and frustrated beyond words came closer to describe Sasuke's feelings about the whole thing. Still he knew Naruto wasn't a creeper and his friend had helped him, both just now and earlier when he went to get that imbecile girl. How she had passed the genin test was beyond him. "Don't worry about it moron, I bounce back quickly." Sasuke looked around his kitchen, all gleaming surfaces and state of the art appliances that hardly ever got uses. "So since you're already here, how about lunch? Not ramen." He added as Naruto's gaze went toward the cupboard where he kept the horrid stuff.

Naruto raised his hands in an 'I surrender' motion. "Alright. What do you have in mind for lunch then?"

"Something simple and easy made, omelet or a salad perhaps. I have nice piece of tuna if you're in the mood for that." Sasuke shrugged and went to the fridge to see just what he had in way of ingredients. It was close to pathetic but he really didn't want Naruto to leave and he wanted to make something the other liked. It was ridiculous how bad he had it for his best friend, what he would do for him and Naruto didn't even know it.

"I'm easy bastard," Naruto got up and unerringly found utensils to fry an omelet. He'd never snooped in Sasuke's house and certainly not in his kitchen but he knew the way the other thought and organized things, "after that workout and destroying your training ground I figure you feel more like light with lots of protein so we'll go for the omelet."

"Omelet it is then." Sasuke agreed and pulled out eggs, some cheese, tomatoes and a small piece of smoked ham and placed them on the counter before choosing spices and a few fresh herbs, like basil and rosemary. Just because it was a simple omelet didn't mean it had to be tasteless or boring. "I'll set the table of you fry them." It was easy and comfortable, being in the kitched with Naruto. They knew just how to move with each other and compliment the other, just as they did on missions. Directions wasn't really necessary, they knew what to do without words.

Naruto went through the motions of frying the omelets efficiently. He liked working in tandem with Sasuke, liked the equal, easy exchange, even when they had a silent battle of wills over a spatula. It made him wonder what it would be like in bed with him. Which of course led to a red face and super concentration on the omelets as he tried to banish the mental images that were now giving him a hard on.

"Stove too hot?" Sasuke peered at him in curiosity. "You're looking a little flushed there." He didn't want to admit that he'd been watching Naruto while setting the table, the way his muscles moved as he fried the omelet, the sleekness and silent strength of his back and of course that behind. Sasuke really, really wanted to get his hands and maybe his mouth on that utterly delicious ass. Even without the devil doll Naruto did things to his body and libido just by being close and Sasuke didn't know how much more he could take before he snapped and did something incredibly stupid, like slam Naruto against the wall and kiss him breathless.

"No, the stove's just fine." Naruto half wanted to crawl into a hole, cursing his expressive face. Why oh why couldn't he manage a poker face when not on a mission or a prank?

"If you say so." Sasuke knew Naruto well enough to know when the moron was hiding something from him but he'd also learned the hard way when to push and when to let it go. He walked over to the fridge again and pulled out a clay pitcher full of chilled green tea and carried it to the table before sitting down and waiting for Naruto to come and join him. Sitting was good, it provided a cover for his 'problem' that refused to go away.

Naruto finished the cooking and slid the omelets onto two plates before carrying them to the table and sitting down, "So any idea what your next mission's going to be? Or is it guard duty again?"

"Your Granny absolutely hates me so I wouldn't be surprised if it's guard duty with the 'Hyuga' again." Sasuke grumbled and spat out Neji's family name, he really didn't like the stuck up Hyuga and he hated the way those pale eyes followed Naruto whenever the blond was in sight. "If Moreno needs me though I'll probably be sent to Otogakure again, or what's left of it anyway."

Naruto quirked a brow, "You know bastard Neji really isn't that bad. I don't know why you two hate each other so much. I mean you even get along with Gaara now since his wedding." He nibbled at his omelet. "Why the hostility towards Neji?"

Well there was a reason he got a long with Gaara now wasn't it? He was married and no longer a threat. Still Sasuke only shrugged. "He rubs me the wrong way, that's all." Not to mention that the Hyuga had been one of the Shinobi speaking loudest against Sasuke being reinstated as a Konoha Shinobi when the moron had dragged him back.

"There's a lotta ways to rub you wrong. makes me wonder if there are any ways to rub you right." He took a sip of tea, vaguely oblivious to the innuendo he'd actually put in his words.

A pitch black brow rose. "Oh I assure you I can be rubbed just right, you just have to have the right touch and know what you're doing." Sasuke replied smoothly and shifted in his seat a bit uncomfortably.

Naruto's cheeks flamed and he cursed not having the stove as a possible excuse this time. He coughed, "Uh-huh, and does anyone? Have the right touch I mean?" Just keep asking questions and maybe Sasuke won't notice the blush or the perverted thoughts now running through his head at the thought of getting to run Sasuke in any way.

"I don't really know but I'm starting to think so yes, someone who has the perfect touch. Wouldn't mind to find out." Sasuke's eyes were half lidded and he watched with avid interest as Naruto's cheeks colored again. Oh this was very, very interesting. Maybe he wouldn't get the crap beaten out of him if he were to push the moron against the wall after all.

Naruto pushed a bit of omelet around his plate. Damn. He was probably far out of the running there. He picked up the bit of fried egg, "Yeah? So who's this mystery person? Anyone I know?"

"You're the golden boy of Konoha, is there anyone you _don't_know, you may have to be a little more precise than that." Sasuke took a sip of his tea, this was fun, teasing Naruto was always a favorite pastime but Sasuke stalled for another reason as well. He wouldn't ruin their friendship if he wasn't sure it could turn into something better.

"Don't be a bastard, bastard. There's plenty of people I don't know but if you wanna play twenty questions fine. Is it a girl?"

Sasuke shot Naruto an 'are you kidding me?' glare. "No idiot, my track record with girls have not exactly made me ache for more." His gaze slid to the now harmless doll. "Stop acting like a moron, moron."

"Oi! Just because you find _most_girls annoying doesn't mean you don't have interest in one. Besides the list of guys in Konoha who willingly admit they like to play hide the kunai is short, very very short." He muttered 'asshole' under his breath, "Okay fine it's a guy, is it a shinobi?"

"Yes, again with the obvious. When I'm in bed with someone I want to know I can get down and dirty without hurting them, I need someone to match me, not a civilian I would have to watch my every move around." Sasuke replied. "And don't snipe at me just because you're shit at asking questions."

"Excuse me for not wanting to take the obvious for granted. Bad shit happens to me when I do." He flicked a bit of egg at Sasuke that was deflected, "Okay I know you'd probably die before boinking a genin even if there are genin out there older than us so, since you're tired of me asking 'obvious' questions, chunin, jonin or special rank?"

Sasuke's eyes soften minutely, something he was quick to cover up by flipping a piece of tomato toward Naruto with his fingers. "Special rank."

Naruto caught the tomato and flicked it back onto Sasuke's plate, "Hmm okay, IT, special jonin, or ANBU?"

"Should I tell you? Hmmm." Sasuke made a considering hum, while trying to read Naruto's expression. "Definitely _not_special jonin, have you noticed that they are all a bit like Kakashi? He probably trains them in the art of being obnixious and perverted and yes I know he was ANBU before but that doesn't count." He stretched his legs out under the table. "The IT's are all weird and strangely secretive when they have no reason to be, besides they all look at themselves as gods gift to mankind...Just...No. That leaves ANBU just in case you didn't follow. I know more than one sentence to process makes you confused."

Naruto flipped him off casually, "Okay, older or younger than you? By at least a year I mean, a few months doesn't count."

"About my age." The reply was casual but Sasuke's blood started to flow faster and his heart pounded. After everything there wasn't much that Scared Sasuke now but this, this was terrifying. Naruto was one of the few things that mattered anymore and the thought of being mistaken, of driving Naruto away made him ache. It wasn't a feeling he was fond of.

"Hm," Naruto tapped his finger on the table, there were only three other men in ANBU Sasuke's age. Shino, Kiba, and...himself. Could Sasuke want..._him_? He met dark eyes and went right on to ask the question that could either shatter his hopes to a thousand pieces or make him a very very happy man, "Brunette or blond."

Ah here it was the grand prize question and the point of no return. Every sign of mirth disappeared from Sasuke's face as he held Naruto's gaze, looking right at those incredible blue eyes that had more shades of blue in them than Sasuke knew how to describe. "Blond." It was short and to the point and quite frankly the only word Sasuke was able to press out.

After that Naruto couldn't hear anything but the blood rushing in his ears and his inner child dancing like a fool. He did however know that he was over the table and kissing the breath from Sasuke in less than a second.

Sasuke oomphed in surprise before he registered that Naruto was right there, his lips on his own and with lightning reflexes he pulled Naruto fully into his lap and flicked his tongue against Naruto's tempting lips to deepen the kiss. One arm went around Naruto, his hand on the blonds' lower back and the other hand buried itself in golden hair, pulling gently on it to angle Naruto's head as he licked into the other's mouth. "Fucking finally." He growled into the kiss.

Naruto nipped as Sasuke's bottom lip before sucking his tongue into his mouth. He wiggled on Sasuke lap, grinding down to rub their groins together even as his hands snaked up under Sasuke's shirt to stroke and play over the smooth, silky skin. He was finally exactly where he wanted to be with Sasuke and it would take the end of the world to get him to stop now.

The hand on Naruto's back slipped lower to cup that ass that he'd dreamt about for years. Sasuke bucked up against Naruto as he continued to kiss him, he traced Naruto's every tooth, the roof of his mouth and slid their tongues together until he felt dizzy.

There was a loud gasp and a sort of squeaking sound. Sasuke's head whipped around and his eyes spun red at the sight of the two genin girls, trembling in his doorway. "Out...NOW!"

"W-we just brought the s-croll." Ayame was frozen inside by the look in those red eyes.

"Drop it and leave, I won't tell you again." Sasuke kept his hand on Naruto's ass, not giving him a chance to escape now that he had him in his arms.

Naruto turned his head and growled, "What he said, before I tell Anko about your little game."

Both girls eeped and the scroll clattered to the ground as they ran away like frightened mice.

Naruto turned his attention to Sasuke's neck, licking and sucking quite happily as his hands went up and flicked thumbs over the nipples, absolutely reveling in the low groan coming from his friend and soon to be lover.

The hand on Naruto's ass squeezed happily and Sasuke threw his head back leaving Naruto more room to do as he pleased. He removed his hand from Naruto's hair and slid it underneath the blonds' shirt instead, tracing the warm skin and the bumps of his spine.

The blond actually purred, an honest to god purr at Sasuke's hands on his skin, "Fuck I think I've wanted this forever." His tongue licked up Sasuke's throat so he could nip at his chin.

"Me too, what took you so long?" The sound of that purring when straight to Sasuke's cock, filling it further and making him impossibly hard and aching. He pulled Naruto away from his skin long enough that he could pull Naruto's shirt over his head and dropping it on the floor before returning his attention to that smooth, flawless skin. Worshipping it with his palms and the tip of his fingers. "Fuck you're gorgeous."

"That's my line. And you know you're really picky," Naruto scraped his teeth over Sasuke's adam's apple, "and have no problem attacking the source of insult. How was I supposed to know if I made a move you wouldn't," riiiiiip, Naruto's hands tore Sasuke's shirt off and he bit at the collarbone, "bite my head off?"

Sasuke shuddered lightly, probably liking Naruto's strength much more than what was healthy. As long as Naruto did that with his mouth though, Sasuke didn't give a fuck. "Oh I won't bite your head, not if you behave. Kiss, lick and suck, that I'll do but I always watch my teeth." One hand raked down Naruto's side, scratching at his ribs and the other slid under the waistband of his pants so he could cup that ass skin to skin.

Naruto's mouth drifted down, another pleased purr escaping him from the scratching, and sealed over Sasuke's nipple. As far as he was concerned Sasuke could bite him all he wanted, so long as he was allowed in Sasuke's bed. His hands snuck down to work at the fly of Sasuke's pants, thanking a few dozen deities that Sasuke had changed from the stupid ass blanket he once wore around his waist to simple, black uniform style pants that zipped up. Of course Naruto yanking on the rope during a spar and accidentally pantsing him might have had something to do with that.

Sasuke pushed up against Naruto's hand but then he wrapped both arms tightly around Naruto. "I've waited forever for this and I'm not going to do it in the kitchen." There wasn't even a puff of smoke before they both appeared on top of Sasuke's bed instead, Naruto's back against the mattress and Sasuke crouching over him. "Mmm, much, much better...I like this view." He flashed Naruto a rare true smile and brought his mouth down on Naruto's abs, nibbling his way to a shallow navel and flicked his tongue into it.

"I'm not," moan, "complaining. You know we should break in the kitchen table," Naruto hitched up his hips and shoved down his pants, "eventually though. I can be your plate."

"Dinner a la moron, it has a certain appeal and I will definitely take you up on that...Later." Sasuke nipped at the trail of soft blond hair leading down from Naruto's navel and curled around a rather impressive erection that made his mouth water. He nuzzled his cheek against the shaft of Naruto's erection and smothered a smirk as Naruto groaned. It was a sound he wanted to hear more of.

"Evil, teasing bastard." Naruto panted out, already feeling too hot and hard to last very long. "Careful or I might cheat." He hooked his toes in the fabric of Sasuke's pants leg and pulled, working them down little by little.

"You always cheat." Sasuke looked up at Naruto with hooded eyes, filled with heat. "It's the only way you could possible beat me." This time he didn't bother to hold back his smirk before licking a broad wet stripe from soft balls to flushed tip.

Naruto moaned loudly and made a cross sign with his hands, "Not after beating you, maybe beating you off, one day, but fuck if I'm just gonna let you tease me til I blow." Then there was another Naruto leaning against Sasuke's back and licking at the scar on his neck. "Pants off sexy." The clone pulled Sasuke's pants and underwear down and off his body in quick order before sneaking a hand around and stroking his cock.

"Fuck." Sasuke moaned at the hand around his cock and the warmth of the other body against his back. "I can't really say anything about this kind of cheating...Except more." He brought his own hand around Naruto's erection, squeezing and stroking, running his thumb over the leaking head.

Another moan and Naruto's clone was wiggling up under Sasuke, so that he could lick at the other man's cock, hand measuring the weight of his balls and massaging them. The real Naruto arched up into Sasuke's hold and his hand went down to play over the scar on the back of his lover's neck.

A full body shudder went through Sasuke at the touch of his neck. He had never regretted that scar, not even when things were darkest he had never regretted jumping in front of Naruto that time in wave. "Gods what you do to me." It was a husky whisper against Naruto's skin as the clone's mouth felt wet and hot and wonderful on his erection.

"If it's even half of what you do to me we're going to set fire to the bed," Naruto arched up against the raven, "what a fucking glorious way to go if you'll please, please go faster."

"You've got one hand on my neck and your clone has just swallowed my cock and you're asking _me_to go faster?" Sasuke's brows were disappeared underneath his hair as he rose them. "Four hands on me, all of them belonging to you, you're lucky I can fucking move at all." Still Sasuke was nothing if not stubborn, he reached to the side of the bed and reached for the lube always there and though it was a bit difficult with three people in the bed he managed to scoot down again so he was face to...Cock with Naruto.

"Well you're just hovering there," Naruto grinned down at Sasuke, his hand ruffling through the short spikes of raven hair, "what's a matter, am I too much for you?" He knew exactly how to tweak his bastard just right. Challenge him and he'd get right on it.

Dark eyes flashed with challenge. Sasuke knew perfectly well what Naruto was doing, he pressed the same buttons with the moron to get his way but still...He'd shut Naruto up. Licking a circle around the mushroom shaped head Sasuke plunged his mouth over Naruto's cock and swallowed him down completely in one go until his chin was pressed pressed against Naruto's sack and Naruto's pubic hair tickled his upper lip.

A yelp sounded from the blond and he had to reach down and grip the bed covers to keep from arching up into Sasuke's throat that was tight and hot around his cock. Fuck it felt so damn good. "Come on bastard, stretch me. I want your cock that my clone is currently treating like a lollipop," at that comment the clone swirled his tongue around the head of Sasuke's penis, pressing his tongue into the slit, "pushing into me until all I can feel is you."

Sasuke would have had a great comeback to that, really he would...if his mouth hadn't already been occupied. He looked up at Naruto, his jaw almost unhinging and his lips stretch wide around the other's erection. He kept his eyes on Naruto as he flipped open the cap on the lube and slicked his fingers up. He then moved behind Naruto's balls, down his crack, circling that tight, pink hole, adding pressure without breaching until he could feel it relaxing underneath his touch. Only then did he slide a finger in, moaning at the tight, clinging heat around his finger and the way the other Naruto's tongue felt on his cock.

Naruto sucked in a sharp breath, a soft whine escaping his throat and he pressed back against the finger. It didn't feel weird or uncomfortable, not considering the number of times he'd fingered himself to the mental image of the man sucking his cock right now. He smirked a little lopsidedly and made the hand sign to dispel his clone, moaning as he got the memory of the taste and feel of Sasuke's dick in his mouth.

The loss of heat and wetness around his cock made Sasuke startle and long even more to be buried inside Naruto. He added another finger and curled them inside that tight passage, stretching and caressing the clinging inner walls. Rubbing his middle finger gently inside Naruto, Sasuke smirked around his mouthful when Naruto almost arched off the bed. _There it was_. He rubbed Naruto's prostate more intently and moved his mouth off Naruto's erection with a wet pop, sliding his lips lower until he was licking the rim of the hole his fingers were inserted to.

"Oh _fuck_. Gods Sasuke you're mouth is so fucking wicked and your tongue," his groan was eloquent, "Gods please hurry. I don't know how much more I can take and I don't want to cum unless you're inside me damn it."

Sasuke couldn't hold back a groan at those words. The notion of licking and fingering Naruto to orgasm wasn't an unpleasant one but he'd waited for what seemed like forever to be inside Naruto, he could taste and lick and turn Naruto into a shuddering mass of want later. Sasuke wanted Naruto, all of him, all the time and this wasn't going to be a one off. Adding a third finger, he scissored them, making sure Naruto was ready for him before he reached for the sticky lube bottle again, slicking himself up. Sasuke crawled up Naruto's body, positioning himself in the cradle of the other's thighs. He looked down into blue eyes before leaning in and kissing Naruto surprisingly gently as he breached him, feeling the tight heat enclosing him and pulling him in. It was better than anything Sasuke had ever felt and he wasn't able to stop pushing until his balls rested snug against Naruto's ass and all of him was buried inside Naruto as deep as he could be.

A growl escaped Naruto and his hands gripped Sasuke's shoulders, "Oh fuck yes. Finally," he nipped at Sasuke's chin and wrapped his legs around his waist, arching closer. He wouldn't deny that it stung a little but pain meant nothing in the grand scheme of things, especially for someone who's had an arm shoved through his lung before. "Move, before I flip you over and ride myself off on you."

"Always so damned demanding." Sasuke hissed hotly into his ear as he started to move. "And the thought of just lying back and letting you do all the work isn't exactly threatening you know." Sasuke pushed in harder, smirking at the yelp the pliant body underneath him made. Fuck it felt so good! This was how things were supposed to be, now that he'd experienced the absolute pleasure of being inside Naruto he had no intention for this to be a one off. Sasuke gripped the back of one of Naruto's knees and pushed his leg higher toward his chest as he increased both speed and strength of his thrusts, not able to take it slow and easy.

Naruto's other leg remained around Sasuke's waist, pulling him closer though you'd have thought it was impossible. Incredible pleasure filled him just as solidly as the cock in his ass and his hands got busy roaming all the skin it could reach and playing with Sasuke's nipples, "Next time then." He did his level best to meet the hard, driving thrusts and leaned up to catch Sasuke's mouth with his. Soft growls and demanding mewls escaped him as Sasuke drove him to the edge.

An extremely rare, honest smile lit up Sasuke's features before he leaned down and licked a stripe up Naruto's neck. "Next time yes." He said in agreement before biting down on that tempting neck as Naruto tightened around him. Sasuke released Naruto's leg and gripped his hips instead, most likely leaving bruises that wouldn't stay on tanned skin. His other hand traveled down Naruto's chest before teasing at the head of Naruto's erection, fluttering and touching teasingly without providing any friction.

The bite had him arching and the friction wasn't needed as he came embarrassingly fast, lightning crackling through his system and his eyes going blind with ecstasy. He blamed the fox for the bite fetish that got him off so easily but he knew he'd never hear the end of it from the bastard still fucking him.

Sasuke groaned in pleasurable surprise when Naruto suddenly tensed and spilled hotly between their bodies. The way Naruto contracted and tightened around him was a feeling beyond explanation. He let out a dark chuckle even through the haze of his own lust and gripped Naruto's hips with both hands, fucking the other man hard and chasing his own release. It didn't take long at all to peak, not when it was _Naruto_underneath him. He'd wanted his best friend for so long and now that he had him it wasn't possible to last very long. Sasuke buried himself as deeply as he could, threw his head back and came.

Naruto groaned at the sight of Sasuke coming over him and felt his cock try and twitch in interest. He had a short refractory period but not that short. His hands stroked up pales sides then over a slim, toned back as his best friend, now lover, flopped onto him. He panted as his senses tingled and came down from the intense orgasm and drummed his fingers on Sasuke's skin, "You're a biter then?"

"Apparently so." Sasuke huffed out as he concentrated on getting his heart rate and breathing back to normal. He felt sated and wonderful and in particular mood to move. Naruto could take it. "Didn't realize you had a hair trigger though." He hid his smirk against Naruto's golden skin, nibbling lightly on it. He'd never been a biter with anyone else but Naruto...Naruto was a craving, an addiction that Sasuke could never get enough of no matter how he tried.

"Oh ha ha asshole," his body gave another interested lurch at the nibbling, "not my fault biting gets me off. I blame big red and fuzzy." He raked his nails lightly over Sasuke's ribs, perking up a bit at the smothered giggle. "Are you ticklish?"

"Che...No!" From the tone of Sasuke's voice it was clear he was lying but he had not giggled...No, definitely no such thing. "So, are you saying you could come just from be biting you? Nothing else?" Sasuke nibbled his way down Naruto's chest, slipping out of Naruto as he moved, and bit down a bit harder just beside Naruto's left nipple. "That is a theory we have to pursue further later."

"Bastard," it was said without hostility and no little amount of amusement as he shifted closer to that teasing mouth, "I don't recover _that_fast and I get to ride you first."¨

"I said later didn't I or did I?" Sasuke sighed in contentment and a smidgen of lust even though he was still sated. "And yes you get to ride me, like I would even argue with that...Moron." Sasuke moved his mouth up until he could kiss Naruto's lips gently.

Naruto deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with Sasuke's, "Mmm good." He managed to roll them over so that he was pressed against Sasuke's side, his chin nuzzling a pale shoulder, "You don't have anyone coming over for a visit right?"

"Why yes I do because I'm the epitome of Konoha's social butterfly." Sasuke's voice wasn't as scathing as it normally was though and he reached around to pull Naruto even closer, holding him tightly against himself. "No, no one is coming, not invited at least...Hoping you will stay though."

"You're stuck with me now Sasuke so I hope you never want to get rid of me," he snickered, "we've seen how well that works."

"Oh ha, ha...Fucking comedian." Sasuke snorted in reluctant amusement. "It goes both ways though, you're stuck with me too."

"Mmm not complaining, very much not complaining," he trailed his fingers through Sasuke's hair and grinned, "Ya know we should probably do something to protect you from another evil doll being made."

Sasuke made a purring sound that he would deny to his dying breath if questioned about it as Naruto touched his hair. "Protection? Just what do you have in mind to protect me from snivelling, little girls with too small brains and too much time on their hands?"

"Mmm I was thinking," he rubbed his fingertips over Sasuke's scalp, enjoying the sounds he made, "that a mark that would never be seen by anyone would work wonders. Like a little tattoo, say right here," he tickled the scalp under the hair just above the nape of Sasuke's neck, "No one could see it, only you and I would know it was there."

"Hmm." Sasuke made a considering hum as he thought about what Naruto suggested. "Could work." Dark eyes narrowed. "I'm _not_shaving my hair to get it there, just so we're clear about that." He sighed. "It still gives me the creeps to know how closely they must have studied me to get all my scars and marks on the first doll." Sasuke shuddered.

"Don't worry no shaving planned," he leaned in and nuzzled at Sasuke's neck, "and I've got an idea on how they got that close study and I fully intend to use all of my evil mischief to deal with them."

"For once I fully approve of your evil mischief side and I won't even ask what you plan to do. I know you'll make them pay." It was as close as Sasuke could come to tell Naruto that he had full faith in him. Words didn't come easy to him and emotions were still scary as fuck. Sasuke had them but wasn't brilliant at talking about them. Pale fingers stroked up and down Naruto's back, loving the way the golden skin felt beneath his fingertips.

Naruto purred and snuggled closer. He wasn't going to be too horrible to the little twits because their idiocy had gotten him right where he wanted to be, well fucked and in Sasuke's arms. Still if they really wanted to play with dolls he was going to make sure they learn that sometimes the dolls played back.

**~Fin~**

**AN** – _There you have it, we hope you enjoyed our little silliness. Please if you have the time, do drop us a line and tell us what you think. Comments are better than chocolate._


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